House Cat in a Tiger Skin

I am intensely crabby today and I don't feel like trying to be calm, trying to be patient or trying to be a good mom.  I am so angry at Natasha.  The problem is that whenever she starts coming out of a really bad period, she thinks that she can be a punk and it will be excused as uncontrollable behavior.  I can tell the difference though and then I have to be extra vigilante with every rule and law in our house or she acts like a manipulative brat just because she can.  A cat in tiger's clothing.

 So last night she did pretty well, she's sleeping a lot more and only had about an hour of screaming and arguing.  Then we talked about our family vacation that's coming up.  I had told her this past weekend that she needs to go to school every day this week if she expects to go.  She's fully capable of that at this point and last night I told her that I had faith in her that she would make the right decision.  She doesn't like to be forced into anything due to her OCD making her feel like something bad will happen so I told her to not stress about it at night, that each morning this week she can look at her two choices and make a decision.  She goes to school and goes to the ocean with us, or she skips school again and goes to a family members house for the weekend.  I know how bad she's been wanting to go.  We've planned this for months and she's been ecstatic.  Horseback riding on the beach, a nice hotel to stay in, swimming pool, mini golf, nice dinners out, kite flying and shopping. 

Last night she was telling me that she didn't believe I wouldn't let her go with us if she skipped school.  I said, "I'd bet money that you go to school because I know you don't want to miss this."  Her reply was to ask how much money.  She wanted $500 and I told her I would bet her $100 that she went to school.  She said, "So you'll pay me $100 to stay home from school?"  I reminded her that she would miss our vacation time and even as I was saying it I really believed she would choose to go.  I have done stuff like this with her often and I time it carefully with where she is mentally at that point and I've never been wrong.  Well.. this time I was.

 She asked me last night to get her up early this morning so she could take a shower and I tried to wake her up all morning but she refused to get out of bed.  She wasn't being defiant, she was fully aware of the decision she was making but she said she didn't want to go on vacation and she was not going to go to school.  I tried to talk sense into her and even recorded her saying she understood the consequences of her decision.  No luck.  I'm so mad at her because she knows that she wants to go.  I know how bad she's going to feel about it later and I tried to get that across to her but now I have to enforce the rules in a way I REALLY don't want to.   I feel like a miserable excuse for a parent today.  I'm doing everything monumentally wrong.